


Guardian Angel

by SuchAFangirl



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Future, Minor Character Death, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-04-15
Updated: 2008-04-15
Packaged: 2018-12-27 14:56:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12083421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuchAFangirl/pseuds/SuchAFangirl
Summary: Justin shares his inner-most thoughts with Daphne.





	Guardian Angel

_My Dearest Daph,_  

_Four years ago I thought I was on top of the world. I thought I had everything, that all my dreams had come true. But if the last four years have taught me anything, it is that I continually underestimate Brian and this amazing union we share. Because every time I think "this is it, this is as good as it gets" I soon find myself feeling even happier, more fulfilled. Sometimes it's good to be wrong.  So deliciously, wonderfully, beautifully wrong. Life with Brian just keeps getting better._

_Of course this would be no surprise to you. You always knew. Even when I had lost faith myself, in Brian , in Us… you still believed. You always believed that we were perfect for each other, destined to be together. I think that's because you knew me best of all. You were the only one who could see Brian through my eyes. I hope you're feeling satisfied with yourself right now._

_I remember that first month I was in New York. Emails, text messages, late night phone calls. Learning to communicate in ways we never had to before. Learning that I could hear that raised eyebrow in his voice. That the tongue in his cheek was always preceded by a soft sigh, and a barely audible short chuckle. Seeing the sharp wit and wicked sense of humor come across as well in print as it did in person. I knew then that everything was going to be alright. That we could make it work, and that surprisingly, it might even be good for us. You said to me "I told you so."_

_Not a day went by when I didn't know I was in his thoughts. Even if the day had been crazy and we hadn't been in touch, I could count on our good night text message. I didn't have to read them. They always said the same thing… Goodnight Sunshine. Just going to sleep with my cell phone under my pillow, and being partially wakened by the soft vibration was enough. Enough to know that I was the last thing he thought of at night. That at the end of the day, I was all that mattered.  And in that knowledge, the nights seemed less lonely. You're the first person I've told this to._

_And the sex! Going weeks without seeing each other, without touching each other just made it … My God Daph!!! Raw intimacy is the only way I can describe it. There was nothing left but me and Brian and weeks of pent up desire. It was hot and crazy and insatiable. The two years I was living in New York, we fucked like horny teenagers. Literally wore ourselves out every single visit. The time apart became almost like a rejuvenation period, readying ourselves for the next visit. (Too much detail...?)_

_I was never sure how often he went to the backroom, or how many clients he was fucking in the name of clinching the deal. We didn't really talk about it, I didn't really want to know. I'd drop the odd casual comment, just so he knew I was okay with it, and it was always served back with light-hearted innuendo._

_It was one year before I found out there were no backroom visits, and Brian was relying solely on his business expertise to clinch the deals. He told me that Kinnetik was doing so well that the clients just came knocking. They were practically signed up before the concept boards were ever printed, and a hard fuck in his private bathroom wasn't going to change the outcome. I swear, when I heard that, I was beaming._ _Brian, the fucker, milked it for all it was worth. Needless to say, that conversation degraded into the filthiest, hottest phone sex imaginable. I never did get that stain out of the sofa. Fuck... I've got a hard on just thinking about it now. (Sorry, that was probably too much information, but the thought of you blushing at that brings a smile to my face.)_

_My last few months in New York were heady to say the least. I already had several pieces in various galleries across New York. They were selling to small private collectors, not really making me a lot of money, and not quite getting me the success I had come to New York to achieve. It was my commission for the foyer piece at Hartford Press that finally launched my career. It's all about connections in the Big Apple._

_You remember my friend James, the one we had dinner with the last time you visited me? His boyfriend Rob managed an exclusive "establishment" in Manhattan and he agreed to hang one of my paintings there. I won't even ask what Walter Hartford was actually doing there, but the supposedly straight businessman took a liking to my painting, and the rest, as they say, is history._

_The interest that painting generated landed me a solo show and three other commissions. Everything snowballed from there, and I knew then, it was time to return home to Pittsburgh. To Brian._

_Coming back to Pittsburgh was so different to the time I  returned from LA. This time I had accomplished what I set out to achieve, arriving home with a plan, future direction, and the means to make it all happen. I was my own man, and it felt good to be standing on my own two feet, not relying on  anyone's generosity. I returned to Brian as his equal. I know you were always proud of me Daph, even at my first showing. You always were my number one fan. But the day I returned to Pittsburgh was the first time I felt truly worthy of your pride._

_It was so easy to slip back into Pittsburgh life. As always, the empty drawer was there to be filled, but there was also an empty house, waiting to be made a home. We spent two weeks trying to pick furniture, finally deciding a designer would be better able to blend our style differences harmoniously, and that our relationship and sanity were worth the exorbitant fee. The result is a home that is equally comfortable and practical as it is stunning. We both love it here, you'd love it too._ _Of course, when it came to the crunch, neither Brian nor I could sell the loft. It will always hold a special place in our hearts, and in our Wednesday afternoon schedules._

_Tell me…Why did I ever say I wanted stables? You know horses scare me, they're too unpredictable! That one time you took me riding was one time too many. But as it turns out, the tack room makes a fantastic studio, and the stalls are now filled with canvases; stark white ones ready to paint, unfinished creations waiting for that last flow of inspiration, and completed pieces ready to be shipped to across the country._

_And across the world!!_

_I just sold three fucking pieces to Charles Saatchi. This is better than good Daph, his gallery sets European trends. I am so excited, Brian and I will be escorting the paintings to London personally. I've always wanted to see Europe and the way I see it, this was the perfect opportunity, as well as a legitimate business expense. We leave tomorrow. I guess it will be our honeymoon. I'll use that word in the absence of a better one, but Brian would say I'm being lesbianic. I can almost hear you sighing with the romanticism of it all._

_Can you believe it? Well I guess you, of all people, probably would. We finally did it. Daph, it was the most wonderful day. As I stood by Brian's side, saying the words I had expected to say four years ago, I couldn't help but think that this time we had it right. This was how it was supposed to be. And I don't mean Brian & I, I mean the wedding._ _No golden gardenias. No gift register. No five star hotel. Just us, our family, our home. It couldn't have been more perfect._

_The sun was beginning to set, and its red-gold rays lit up the edges of the clouds. And as I said those words I've waited so long to say, a gentle breeze touched my cheek. Ever so quietly, barely noticeable except for the coolness and the soft scent of magnolias it brought with it. That reminded me of you, and your favorite bath foam, and the way its perfume filled our small apartment._

_I knew then that you were there, that you were with us, as I had wanted you to be. Only Brian saw it, the tear that hit my cheek as I whispered, "I do." And then he smiled, wiped it away discretely with his thumb, as he brought my face to his and we shared the kiss that sealed our vows. He knew. I think he felt it too.  I swear I could hear your gushy, girly sigh. I should have known you would be there. You always have been there for me when it comes to Brian, every step of the way. I should have known that nothing could keep you from bearing witness to the love that you helped (shoved) along its destined course._

_I loved waking up beside him this morning, feeling his hand laced in mine, the foreign, yet totally comforting sensation of a wedding band on my finger. I never thought this day would come. You always knew it would. Thank you for that. For believing, for encouraging me, for embracing us before anyone else was ready to._

_I know now, what you have always known. Brian and I are made for each other. Soul mates. And I know it will always be that way, because we have a guardian angel looking out for us._ _I'll love you forever, you always were, will always be, a true friend._

_with much love and fond memories,_ _  
_ _**Justin** _

~*~

Justin lightly kissed the envelope and placed it beside Daphne's headstone. Over it he lay a bouquet of spring blooms. Only yesterday, the very same flowers had laid across the one empty seat at the ceremony. 

But though her seat was empty, the sky that night was filled with Daphne's love for her two favorite boys. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my beta Intensefemme.


End file.
